Money and Me

Money and Me

There was a time when Money was 'Taboo'
Desiring money was tantamount to sin
Money was the prince I could dream about
But whose affections I should not try to win

Money was a whimsical whacky witch
Whose plans and preferences I did not know
I saw her so often in some friends' houses
Yet I saw other places where she just did'nt go

When I saw naked beggars on the trains
And homeless children on the pavement
I thought of the money in my fathers pocket
And what that money could have meant

I grew up, I grew up, and I grew up more
Now I have much money I call my own
Money no longer feels so taboo
With me, my love for money has grown

Money is now a tantalising queen
I celebrate when she chooses to come
I use her presence to fulfil my needs
And appease my guilt by donating some

Yet I cannot connect with my money
I do not feel wealthy in spite of my wealth
There is a chasm between my money and me
As I look up my bank balance in stealth


A note related to this poem:

I have been thinking about why I feel so disconnected from my money (or my wealth) and I realised that one reason could be because of the way I invest it/store it. I typically put my money in banks and they invest it in stocks/bonds/whatever. However given the complexity of most investment products (and my limited ability to comprehend financial instruments) I have no simple way of understanding what 'work' my money has been put to. I wish there was some way of investing that will allow me to have clarity on what is happening with my money. Perhaps that might help me feel more connected with my money and see my money as an extension of my identity. I think that if I have not 'renounced' my money, then my money or my wealth is a part of me and I am responsible for what that wealth or money lands up 'doing' on the planet. Since I do not have this clarity (in my current way of managing my money), I have taken an escape route of just 'de-identifying' from my money or wealth.

I am curious to hear the extent to which others feel connected or disconnected to their wealth/money, and what their views on this are. Of course I will be delighted to hear suggestions of alternate mental models on 'money' as well........would love that!!!. In this poem I described my own mental model of money (contrasting it between when I was a child to what it is now).