3 May 2013

Murky Pond

Today I witnessed something intriguing
I witnessed the thoughts in my head
I witnessed my emotions as they raced
And how they followed and how they led

I played some songs from yester-years
Songs with intense drama and emotion
And as I watched and as I listened
My feelings were no longer my own creation

I noticed my thoughts were not my own
My memory was piecing bits together
Bits to conform and fit in with the song
To blend with the songs emotional weather

Such random thoughts, such random meanings
All mushed up and stored in my mind
Why go to a theater, I have fodder inside
To churn out dramas of any possible kind

Whose thoughts are these, whose beliefs
I did not create them, I soaked them in
Some notions from books and songs and movies
And the rest from various kith and kin

So when my emotions hijack my peace
And my thoughts take me to annoying places
Can I just correct some patterns in my head
And free myself from all their traces

What happens the next time I read a book
My next movie, my next love song
The next conversation I have with someone
The next time I agree to just tag along

Can I be alert and aware all the time
To watch my attention and the company I keep
Can I orchestrate my life so much
To guard against influences while awake and asleep

Perhaps I should just immerse myself
In this messy and drama laden culture of ours
Expose myself to possible consequences
And stay prepared to bear some scars

I cannot be separate from this world
I am a part of this networked mess
The ideas that abound on this planet
Are the ones I find in my mind to address

As I brace the ups and downs of this ride
I want to be anchored somewhere beyond
Somewhere outside the world and my mind
For they both resemble a murky pond