4 Dec 2012

The Right Life ?



Who am I to construe these labels
Of what is right and what is wrong
Who am I to judge the interludes
Of this ongoing, infinite and everlasting song

I see this art from one mere angle
And limited tools of observation
With such few data points, can I really perceive
The breadth and depth of creation

I walked in much after this show had started
Ignorant of what happened before
I dabble on living with borrowed assumptions
Clueless of what the future holds in store

One drop in the ocean, one leaf in a forest
One note in a symphony that never ends
My mind can never understand well enough
But I can perceive the signals my heart sends

In my heart then I find a confident navigator
Can I trust her without feelings of doubt
For my heart feels connected to all of life
And she gives cues on what living can be about.






21 Nov 2012

Access to Love

There is sorrow, there is pain
And old hurts come up once again
I don't know what I should do
I don't know how to relate to you

There is anger, there is grief
Insights of clarity are brief
Before I recover, I drown again
Into an ocean of unending pain

But my loving dog comes to cuddle
And brings love into this muddle
I cannot but smile as I caress her skin
And stroke her gently under her chin

The pain remains, confusion remains
Yet my life exists on multiple planes
I have access to love if I open my heart
And from my dog today I learnt this art



19 Nov 2012

Craft


She weaves together these strands of paddy
She weaves together these blades of grass
She weaves her hopes and dreams together
As today seamlessly into tomorrow does pass

Oblivious to all she just weaves on
With concentrated precision and dedication
With single-minded focus she makes each move
Creating her art with love and conviction

It looks like she does not need to rest
It looks like this itself is her rest
She appears to gain and spend energy
As she gives her work her very best

This is her art and her identity
It is her work and her play
She is steeped in it, immersed it in
As she gives to it, her all today

This is craft, this giving of all
This is craft, this act of creation
This is craft, using material as medium
To the sense the souls urge and give it vision.

6 Nov 2012

Just Contexts

The world is just a context
For life to unfold itself
My experiences are just contexts
For me to discover myself

My work is very interesting
I come alive when I teach
But teaching is just a context
Through which my inner knowing I reach

I love to hold my son
In a warm and loving embrace
But his eyes are just a context
To witness innocence and grace

I enjoy sporting challenges
I push and stretch my muscles
But the sport is just a context
To act out my inner tussles

I relish delicious meals
I savour the subtle flavours
But food is just a context
To appreciate creations varying colours

I experience many strong emotions
From streaming tears to ecstasy
But my feelings are just a context
To discover various ways to be

I delight in this wide plethora
Of contexts that surround me
But when I immerse myself in them
Their boundaries I no longer see

I become the context, it becomes me
I get caught in its sways
Contrasting experiences toss me around
In countless different ways

Then suddenly I remember who I am
And I can see the contexts again
I stay in them but watch from outside
As I participate willingly but without strain




2 Nov 2012

Just stay

You find it so easy to say goodbye
You find it so easy to just walk away
My heart tugs and pleads to be with you
I'm yearning inside to ask you to stay

My mind chides my heart -don't be a child!
My mind tries suggesting many alternatives
But my heart insists that nothing can compare
To the warm experience that your presence gives

I feel like a fool, I have definitely known better
But I also feel wonderful to be so swept away
Tomorrow perhaps I will arise wise and thoughtful
But a love-struck fool let me remain today!

31 Oct 2012

Bewitching Security


You're gorgeous, but I'm not afraid to let you go
I'm intoxicated, and I'm not afraid to let you know

It's been a dream to live in such a place
You fulfill me in countless different ways

My only complaint is that amidst this bliss
There is a feeling that I could lose all this

This lurking feeling I want to summon aboard
For fearful emotions I can no longer afford

I'm giving my life wings to fly up high
I'm giving her permission to explore the sky

I'm gifting her a unicorn to mount and ride
I'm gifting her colours to splash out wide

Amidst such gifts where is there space
For fear of leaving a familiar place

Even if the familiar place is like you
Beloved, cherished, and accommodating too

In the bewitching charm and comfort you lend
You hold me from maneuvering the next bend

To venture forth and see what’s ahead
I have to get out of my comfortable bed

I do it in a way each day when I rise
But to do this with life itself would be nice.



28 Oct 2012

Welcome to my Garden

Take a look at my garden, friendly but wild
For that is also me, untamed yet mild
We make no promises of how we will be
But if you are open to experiences, come befriend me

My neighbor's garden has a rose row and lily row
What my neighbor will feed you  in advance you will know
My garden is scattered, with bushes and weeds
I make no commitments to fulfill your needs

My garden is delightful, it can be pretty sometimes
It is a treasure of wisdom, if you read between the lines
I can liven up your day, brighten your heart
Initiation to living free, is my skill and art

We cannot predict how this garden will grow
What will bloom in time, we cannot know
You are welcome to love, to invest, and hope
If with any outcome you are willing to cope


23 Oct 2012

Come Life....

Come Life, surprise me, delight me today
I'm all yours, damp clay to mould
Shower your blessings in any form you desire
Embrace me and take me into your fold

Come Life, tickle me, when I become serious
I'm wearing a fragile pretentious mask
I'm a child inside, waiting to giggle
In the warmth of your open laughter to bask

Come Life, annoy me, be my trainer
Test me to discover my strengths inside
Throw me your challenges as you like
I'm enjoying the ups and downs of this ride

Come Life, arouse me with your freshness of dawn
Paint on me with your colours and grace
Dazzle me with your splendour and charm
Show me your mystically beautiful face

Come Life, embrace me, in your boundless love
Let me snuggle into your cozy nest
Allow me to melt into your grandeur
And lay my petty mind's wanderings to rest


Come Life, become me, in body and mind
Let me be a channel for your spirit to flow
Use my faculties to savour your creations
Use me as a medium for your radiance to show

21 Oct 2012

Contagious Emotions

Yes, I am stressed, irritated and anxious
My day didn't turn out as I did plan
My head is hot, flushed with thought
Though I'm trying to be as calm as I can

Today I tried to be especially nice
I planned something keeping everyone in mind
But the others hijacked my plan from me
And it turned into an experience of a different kind

The one I set out to please and befriend
Is the one that's turning away like stone
I wish I had not tried to reach out at all
For then I would not be feeling so torn

I threw myself into today with gay abandon
With a most wonderful start in the morning
I had so much love to give and share
As I felt an amazing connection with everything

But one recipient of my love was a stony sink
And I failed to take heed of the resistance
I tried to push my warmth into that dark space
Only to watch my own enthusiasm melt

Emotion is contagious, I'm not that strong
I am vulnerable to catching on gloom
But let me sweep my heart clear of this pain
Using my own will as an emotional broom

Especially when there is a catch on gloom
For which I find no meaningful reason
When my feelings are influenced by feelings around
Or just by the prevalent weather and season

When these feelings impinge on me from outside
Let me graciously just allow them to flow
Let me not be a vessel holding them in
Let me be a witness as they come and go

Let me sense these varied emotions around
But not lose my connection to my radiant core
Let me expose myself to these stormy currents
But remember my way back to the shore

Let me stay connected to the starlight above
Let me stay grounded to the earth below
Let me be secure in a core of unchanging love
Even as the pain of the world I touch and know.




20 Oct 2012

Wild Garden

I lose myself to find myself
I release my demands, and gifts pour in
I ease up on life and it begins to flower
In a way that there is nothing left to win

My manicured garden was a pretty place
But demanding and stressful to maintain
My wild garden is a delightful place
That hardly causes any strain

It has taken a while to be able to surrender
After years of holding the reigns so tight
Strange it seems that without much doing
Thinks are working out just alright

What a magnificent script I'd written
To make believe I have to manage this show
Fabulous delusion, cleverly crafted fiction
That had taken my thoughts and emotions in tow.


Confidence?



I think of myself as quite confident,
I think of myself as quite strong
But as I held a sari in my hand
Old fears re-appeared and dragged me along

I became an awkward teenager again
Unsure of my feminity and my looks
I became the girl the teachers labeled
As the one who was best behind the books

I became the girl who used to try in vain
To push beyond her intellectual image
I became the girl who could not give space
To the woman inside, as she came of age

I kept growing since then in many ways
But I could not bring out the woman in me
Unsure and shy she stashed herself away
In a place neither me nor others could see

Girlie mum, Girlie Prof, all girlie I dance,
Comfortable with my looks as a pretty girl
But bring out a Sari, and the doubts come back
And in a sea of inadequacy I begin to swirl.

19 Oct 2012

What Is and What Could Be

Dreams and dreams and dreams
I'm getting so excited by possibility
My goals and visions and hopes
Are expanding into infinity

But little yellow butterfly flapping your wings
You are drawing me into the here and now
Lovely rustic garden with creatures abound
You are grounding my flying thoughts somehow

I like this grounding, I love this earthing
I draw contentment from appreciation of here
And I also love the bubbling excitement
As I contemplate my dreams without any fear

I used to think it was a choice to make
Between savoring the now and dreaming ahead
But by becoming familiar with my inner landscapes
These competing mindsets I am learning to wed.

16 Oct 2012

Nomadic Escapade

A dream it did seem in every way
In which an unknown me I got to know
A dream it did seem in every way
In which an unshown me I got to show

A dip in a refreshing mystical stream
Peeling away deep longstanding fears
A dip in a refreshing mystical stream
Washing away inhibitions built over years

A glimpse of free flowing existence in me
That basks in joy and plays in glee
A glimpse of free flowing existence in me
That is unbound, unburdened, and completely free.




14 Oct 2012

Spaces

The night belonged to a different space
Of crashing waves and starlit skies
We in turn, just joined the night
Untangling ourselves from worries and ties

Realities within realities, each one as real
Moving through spaces in my layered existence
I find different truths in each of these spaces
Shedding my 'one and only truth', insistence

As I move effortlessly between the spaces
The truth of each space becomes more of a dream
So I carry within me a personal truth
That flows as a gushing vibrant stream

I take this stream to the spaces I visit
I invite my companions to bathe and play
I cannot understand their experience of the same
But in the sharing of delights we dance and sway





13 Oct 2012

Slippery Ground

Why am I so restless
What is churning in me
What do I really want to do
What do I really want to be

What are these dreams I'm chasing
With such vengeance and such focus
Why am I running around
With such disoriented locus

Where is my heart, what am I feeling
How am I feeling about this all
My needs, my requirements, my desires
How did my demands pile this tall

Slippery ground it is indeed
I forgot my most sacred tool
I pinned my satisfaction to a particular outcome
And set myself up to lose my cool

It was okay to dream, okay to hope
It was okay indeed to set before creation
A goal for a particular kind of experience
A goal for a particular kind of emotion

I fell in the trap when I started comparing
Emerging experiences with pre-set dreams
With part blinded perception I began to despair
And my head got filled with pathetic screams

This slope is slippery, the ground is tricky
But it is the only course I know for now
The alternate of abandoning my dreams
Does not appeal to my spirit somehow.

Beach

There is this wavy dancing line
Where the ocean meets the land
There is this vibrant lively stretch
Where the waves greet the sand

There is this rhythmic rolling sound
Where water comes gushing forth
There is this rustling swishing tune
Where secrets are whispered in mirth

There is this play between the elements
Where the earth and water embrace
There is this captivating display of shimmer
Where the waves cascade in grace

There is this enticing stretch of ground
Where nature seduces mankind
There is this sacred space created
Where presence transcends the mind.

Invitation

Come play with me, this invitation never ends
Come dance with me, this party never ends
Come share with me, my patience never ends
Come walk with me, this journey never ends

Come spend some silent moments with me
Come hum some unsung tunes with me
Come inhabit these vacant spaces with me
Come feel this sacred presence with me.


11 Oct 2012

Reclaiming my Identity of a Poetess

As I creep toward the middle of my life,
I'm sometimes feeling scattered
Pulled in several different directions
I begin to forget things that mattered

As I discover my latent talents
And grow into newer spaces
I find myself becoming ambitious
And taking part in newer chases

My schedule is full of meetings
My inbox is crowded with emails
My mind is crowded with dreams
Of wandering on wilderness trails

Its all good, this happening life
Its all fun, so much of movement
But I need an anchor amidst this chaos
That grounds me in my private moment

I need an identity that I can wear
And allow everything else to come and go
I need an identity that I can hold
When the world goes fast, but my heart wants slow

I thus reclaim my primary identity
To be and just Be a Poetess
Everything else can come and go
And pass through my life without stress

Jobs, roles and work opportunities
Accolades, applause, and honours
Relationships with family and friends
And experiences in all their colours

I am a poetess, I'll just be a poetess,
The world is welcome to dance around me
Every now and then, I might join the dance
But within my heart, a poetess I'll be.

10 Oct 2012

Who is a Faliure


I took part in this running race,
I was the last to reach the finish line
I failed at reaching before the others
But I did not fail in being me

I took this job in a really big bank
I could not help them make more money
I failed at fulfilling my bosses’ expectations
But I did not fail in being me

I set out to have a pleasurable life
But I also experienced sorrow and pain
I failed at realizing my Barbie dreams
But I did not fail to be me

As long as I am, as long as I am me,
I can choose to disregard this label of failure
Who is a failure? Who gives that label?
My creator crafted me and set me out to be!  

9 Oct 2012

Waves

Hey waves, you go up and down
Hey waves, you come in and out
What is your game, tell me so
For in my mind, lingers a doubt

Hey waves, can I come play with you
Hey waves, can I come ride on you
Even though I know not your game
Would you consider including me too

Hey waves, who pulls you up to the sky
Hey waves, who drags you down to the earth
Who directs your moves towards the shore
To make you advance in joyous mirth

Hey waves, why don't you stay awhile
Hey waves, why do you return so soon
Now coming, now going, now coming, now going
Reflecting the delights of the sun and moon






7 Oct 2012

Friends

Friends Friends Friends
Friends are around me today
Just the presence of my friends
Can blow my worries away

Friends Friends Friends
I have such wonderful friends
With me through the ups and downs
 Of life's unpredictable bends

Friends Friends Friends
How magical is companionship
Whether we spend a day at home
Or we go on a fun-filled trip

Friends Friends Friends
I have the best gifts ever
What else could I possibly ask
When I'm lonely now never.

6 Oct 2012

Raw Mango

Hang in there, Hang in there
Don't please let go yet
Even though the wind may toss you
And rains make you wet

Hold on tight and strong
To that branch high above
Stay connected to Mama tree
That is nourishing you with love

We are all waiting eagerly
For you to ripen sweet
The birds, the squirrels, and me
Are all contenders to eat

I wonder what we can give
To enrich your journey though
A thanks perhaps, admiration perhaps,
As we gaze at you from below.

11 Jul 2012

Emotions


My life seems to be this absurd collection of events and observations, thoughts, feelings and reflections that can leave me experiencing such a myriad range of emotions and states in one singe day!

But yes,.. I'm grateful for my emotions....those ups and down of the feeling state that are the causes and effects of so much more...

Those fleeting sensation type ripples that flood thru the heart and make me sit up and notice that - Hey I am alive!

Those vibrational tenors that nobody can describe scientifically but EVERYONE can feel! :-)

Those  up and down strings that can make the rest of my system dance and that can call the shots on how any experience can unfold

Those indicative signals that give me the most accurate feedback on what I'm doing and what I'm thinking

Those wild breezy visitors, invited and uninvited that jazz up my life and stir everything inside of me!

Those little children that I myself give birth to that now chirpily run all around my inner home - gleefully out of control!

....Yes! I'm grateful for those things called emotions! Those signals of being alive!

25 Jun 2012

God and Gaia


Suspended between God and Gaia
How much could I possibly stray?
My heart connected to God and Gaia
I'm most naturally inclined to pray

What is my prayer, How do I pray?
It is whatever I do when I'm awake
Every thought and feeling that I emit
Every conscious intention I make

When I'm awake and aware of my connection
I am a prayer of purest essence
How could I possibly be something else
When I'm connected with God's presence

Whatever I think, whatever I feel,
Whatever I do or say
Is my prayer to my dearest creator
In whose lap I continue to play

Who is Gaia? What is she to me?
Why do I heed her call?
Because she is one of God's primal creations
Who lovingly sustains us all

She is an essence of Gods own energy
Which focussed onto planet earth
She is now both creation and creator here
Constructing, destroying, and giving new birth

When I connect with God, I find my essence
I find a space of contented being
When I connect with Gaia, I find my life
I tap into passion of creative becoming

I love them both, this being and becoming
I am them both, contentment and creation
I feel wonderful being lovingly held
By God and Gaia, as a unique contribution

18 Jun 2012

Count me in, Gaia!

Count me in Gaia, count me in...
I was in your troop, but I did not know
Assign me a role in your grandest performance
I am signing up in body, mind and soul

Count me in Gaia, count me in...
I bring you the gifts God gave to me
I lay at your disposal this infinite energy
That is urging me to become and be

Count me in Gaia, count me in...
Guide me to dance in rhythm with you
I am a student and fan, wide eyed and open
Drenched with appreciation and love for you

Count me in Gaia, count me in...
I'm here on behalf of my wayward species
We lost our way, we got carried away,
But are returning to you in pursuit of peace.

17 Jun 2012

Adventure


Dancing on the edge of whats permissible
Challenging the apparent boundaries drawn
Playing with possibilities seemingly forbidden
That's what my adventure is all about

Savoring the fruits that nature has to offer
And relishing my own nature that relishes the fruit
Engaging consciously with natures attractions
That's what my journey is all about

Not blindly denying whats there to experience
But not mindlessly grabbing at all that's there
Choosing with awareness, each game to play
That's what my experiments are all about

Allowing myself to be carried by the flow
And yet staying tuned in to my essence
Surrendering to life with free will and trust
That's what my life is all about

29 May 2012

Frames


Every now and then this life of mine
Used to fall apart in places
And then I would have to sit down one day
And string it all back together!

Reorganize my thoughts and feelings
To construe a sane picture of the world
Something to hold as a backdrop or frame
To begin to function again

As I begin to see more and more
My self-constructed reality
I begin to lighten more and more
To let it all just simply be….

To let the floating feelings linger
To let the transient thoughts play
To get up and participate in a fuzzy world
Without insisting on map or frame

2 Jan 2012

Blessings

In every limitation and shortcoming
There lies a blessing hidden for me,
For God is using both opportunities and constraints
To steer me towards what I'm meant to be.