6 Aug 1993

Stabs of Joy


If love this is, then tell me why
I keep wanting to make you cry
I feel so nice to just hurt you
And enjoy that pain which hurts me too
Why do I say, ‘no’ to everything
That could so easily happiness bring
To your eyes which instead I fill
With sorrowful tears and pains until
I drown myself in grief over it
Then hours and hours musing I sit
Matching my moods with yours so sad
Enjoying the togetherness in feeling bad.

15 Jul 1993

Him and Me


I don’t doubt him, not one small bit
My darkest moments who has brightened and lit
Although it might have been different before
When things were such that I was’nt sure

Now I know and I declare without fear
That I love him and he is ever so dear
I’d do anything for the sake of love
That makes life better than heaven above

His sweetest smiles, his brightened eyes
His insistence on wearing collars and ties
Everything gives me joy so much
When my heart his words do ever touch

Just look at him I could forever
Sink into his eyes to exit never
Listen to his voice for eternity
Could be joy extending to infinity

With a thoughtful word and a tender look
My placid life he has so shook
With food for thought and dream for night
Without him life would indeed be a plight

I was so selfish, so self centered
But now I think of nothing but he
My every thought and deed is dedicated
To just him who controls me

26 Jun 1993

Remedy

When God made the world
It wasn't very right
Harsh were the days
And cold was the night

Boring was the word
That described life the best
For some the world was cruel
It was worthless for the rest

So God sent certain people
To liven up the days
And to make living worthwhile
In lots of different ways

He sent people who were wonderful
In every way they could be
To make things great for others
And You've made it great for me!.

25 Feb 1993

Closeness


Day after day it just happens
I keep getting closer to you
The closeness however I have in heart
Wish ‘twere the same in body too

Life and fate, so kind and sweet
Keeps us together so long
But don’t know how to fight this guilt
And make believe it’s not wrong

Together in heart, together in thoughts
Raises hopes of something more
It is pure and holy love, it is!
A hybrid of need and adore

It gives me satisfaction of a kind
I've never felt before
But unsatisfaction too does creep in
When closeness I do seek more

It is not you who keep away
Willing you’d ever be
But me myself, I bind myself
Which else should have wrought free






Some day perhaps I will break out


Of my self bound bounds of guilt


Or rather wait patiently for license


On wisdom and experience built






Play safe and sure of every step


Is always what they advice


But wild and daring different steps


May also be blissfully nice.